Thursday, December 4, 2008
I'd like to sincerely apologize for giving you the scare of your life. I feel dreadful and have no excuse for why I almost severely injured you today. Although my mind is pre-occupied with thoughts of strangling my mechanic for charging me $885.00 today to fix my car, on top of the $1,000 I've already paid to have my car "fixed", that is no excuse for potentially causing you bodily harm...even though the mechanic also cracked my windshield in the process of "fixing" my car and says he didn't do it...no, that is still no excuse for my mind to be wandering whilst behind the wheel of a 1 ton vehicle.
Even though I'm pre-occupied with thoughts of kicking my own ass for buying a German car 5 years ago, I still should have been paying attention and should have seen you in your lovely coat crossing the road at the crosswalk. And even though my Volkswagen has eaten up my entire savings and I can no longer take that trip to Ireland I was hoping to take in the Spring or buy any Christmas presents for any of my loved ones this year or buy that new sweater I was eyeing at Target the other day...your life and well-being (as well as the lives and well-beings of other pedestrians) are far more important than any ol' savings account...and trips to Ireland...and presents for my loved ones...and sweaters from Target.
You may also ask why I didn't pull over to apologize. Well, I am asking myself the same thing. I feel utterly ashamed for not doing so - but I suppose in the heat of the moment I was embarrassed and confused and also quite frightened you would rip me a new one. If it makes you feel better, by the look you gave me I sensed you were ripping me a new one in your head, so at least that's something!
Anyway Girl I Almost Ran Over, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. If I knew who you were I would be more than happy to bake you a pie or do your laundry for a month.
P.S. If it's any consolation, I was once almost hit by a bus on my way to the deli.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
J. Crew sent me
A pair of flops
Which I ordered myself
With my modern computer,
Two flops as light as air.
I slipped my feet into them
As if they were socks
Knitted with threats of air and water.
My feet were two fish free at sea,
The flops, two soft blackbirds,
Which cradled me as we flew away
My feet were honored in this way
By these heavenly flops.
They were so perfect for the first time
My feet seemed unacceptable
Like two pale slivers unworthy of
Of the glorious roundness
Of the soft, glowing flops.
Nevertheless, I resisted the temptation
To save them somewhere as schoolgirls
As mature women keep
I resisted the impulse to put them
In a golden cage and feed them
Chocolate covered blueberries.
Like wedding guests at a reception
Who dig in to the complicated confection
Of a wedding cake and eat it with remorse
I slid my feet in and went on my journeys
To ballparks and concerts, movies and beaches
As my flops bore witness to love and anger
Tears and elation
at home and in far away lands,
Always there for me
Providing comfort at every turn,
Ease, every step of the way.
The moral of my ode is this:
Beauty is twice beauty
And what is good is doubly good
When it’s a matter of two flops
Made of foam in summer.
Monday, September 22, 2008
2. In my absence, I had a brief journey south of the border to Mexico. My lovely friend Elisa married her lovely husband Cris in a lovely ceremony by the sea. The sea was clear blue, the sand was white and the margaritas were stong. A good, relaxing time was had by all. The Maroma Hotel, just south of Cancun, was tremendously accomidating. I layed on the beach, swam in the cool, calm sea (with no creepy crawlies, I might add), enjoyed a massage, and dined on $18 quesadillas, which were in fact, the best quesadillas I've ever had in my life.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
I also found this lovely playing-card holder. Apparently my grandmother loved playing cards. I just love how the cards (ALL 52 + jokers in each color!) match the box. It's from Neiman Marcus (but made in Japan) so I feel fancy.
Next I found a collection of adorable bud vah-zez! This particular one is one of four. No markings on the bottom, so I don't know a thing about them, except that they're cute, of course. They all come with their own stands too, which is good, however I have one more stand than I do vases, so perhaps it was originally a collection of five. Oh wails.
I also found these two other bud vases of Asian origin. I don't think they're fancy or anything, but I do believe my grandmother purchased them on a trip to Hong Kong, possibly with the above mentioned vases. The shape and the darker blue color of the smaller one make it a little more aethetically pleasing if you ask me. But who am I to judge?
Anyway, I am very pleased with my new old stuff. Hooray for heirlooms!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I had been seeking out my latest cereal obsession - a whole grain flake - but alas I could not find it anywhere. I realized I would have to settle for something new and different, (something I don't usually do with ease), and thought I couldn't go wrong with a box with a gorilla on it. Upon further inspection, I learned that 1% of the proceeds go towards saving gorillas. Perfect! Considering the fact I can't hop on a plane to the Congo anytime soon to ward off mean old poachers, the least I could do for my fellow opposable-thumbed friends it buy this box of cereal.
I'm happy to announce Gorilla Munch is actually pretty good. It tastes a lot like Capt'n Crunch without the jagged pokey edges (GM is made up of cute little round pellets). And also unlike Capt'n Crunch, it doesn't contain sugar or preservatives. It's organic and gluten free. Who knew gorilla-saving could be so delicious?
You can also save some gorillashere.
I had a double tree roach incident a few days ago...yes, DOUBLE. TWO! DOS cuca rachas, people...in my home...at the same time. *shudder* Needless to say, I have been sleeping with one eye open ever since.
My cat Pete is fantastic at alerting me to the presence of small (yet so big!) brown intruders, but killing them is not his forte. He much prefers to observe, playfully chase, and poke, than actually hunt. Here he is on the right politely observing a visiting spider one day. I appreciate his gentleness towards fellow earthlings, but it really does me no good whilst being attacked by those horrific roaches. *sigh*
I'm very much looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight.
Honk shu. Honk shu.